Peri/Menopause

My thoughts on MenoPause and the PeriMenopausal Phase

This can be interchanged with any experience of the body inside and outside. Emotional and physical. Environmental and spiritual also. Everything is everything and all is the same it just looks and feels differently between humans and of course has various labels in the medical world which only confuses the shit out of everyone…

It is hard to think (when your body is screaming at you with symptoms) that our transitions in to different stages of our life as women are meant to be enjoyed. From the commencement of our Menses, our menstrual cycles themselves (period of the ability to create life), Menopausal period (ending of menses). It is simply hard to think. PERIOD.

Unfortunately, this world and what we expose our Selves to on a daily basis is not cut out for our hormonal system. Toxins galore and stress by the bucket load! It drives me to tears on a regular basis that we have decided that it is the fault of the body for not being able to keep up and want to change/suppress our symptoms or expressions without any regard for why they are expressing the way they are in the first place.

I have grown a lot of compassion for these hormonal body’s of ours over the years after finding out just how toxic the lives we lead are and how much of an affect that has on our hormones and therefore everything we experience in our body’s and our life’s on the whole. I am actually surprised we are still here to be really honest with you. Living and breathing every day and continuing on in the shit show.

I have a huge amount of reverence now for these body’s and what they are capable of in spite of all the shit they are exposed to. To me it shows the true strength of the human form. Although I am acutely aware that when you’re in the thick of it believing that is extremely difficult.

When it comes to our hormones they have 2 ways of being. Stress/threat or heal/regenerate (sympathetic or parasympathetic). They cannot be both at the same time because they cancel each other out. The body will not allow regeneration/healing or life creation (baby making) if it thinks you are in danger/threat in very basic terms. Which makes a lot of sense being that the basis of all life on earth runs on the ability to replicate DNA. This is species survival. If your body does not think it is in a safe space for DNA to replicate it will want to get you to safety in order to recommence this process. The level of stress you are in will dictate this.

The hormones involved in getting you away from danger and to safety are the stress hormones of which there are plenty to name but we mostly know cortisol and adrenaline. When these hormones are in your system there is no way you are in rest/regenerate mode because the body thinks that you’re in danger and in need of getting to safety. Not the time to be resting and regenerating or love making to create a human. Not gonna happen here. It is also worth mentioning that cortisol has the ability to break tissue down and so if you were to become pregnant it is likely your body will essentially eat your foetus because it does not think you will be able to maintain that life. When you’re in stress the body does not know the difference between you having trouble with your boss or that a sabre tooth tiger is waiting to eat you. Your body also knows exactly what you are and are not capable of seeing as it has been with you since the beginning of time and just won’t allow what it does not think you are capable of. It never lies and only wants what is best for you. It wants you to survive. It’s goal is to maintain life.

What we have done in society is shift what we know as stress (it’s not as obvious as I was saying with trouble with your boss Vs a tiger eating you) or really we have forgotten actually what stress is and have essentially raised the bar on stress so have no idea what it feels like anymore and so constantly live in a state of stress unbeknownst to us. We then wonder why our body is screaming at us with symptoms. These symptoms get a lot louder when a hormonal shift happens in our body’s. And as women our major shifts come at the start of our menses, monthly from then on with our cycles, during pregnancy and then when our menstrual cycles come to an end (menopause).

The shift here we name PeriMenopause. At these times our body’s become like beacons telling us exactly what is fucked in our world (whether we are safe or not). Which is pretty much everything and everywhere and will be giving you every reason to stop, look, listen and feel (symptoms) in order to then move to safety. But we don’t. Because we aren’t aware we're not safe.

Threat perception is high in these times of change because the body is busy changing life how it knows it within you and so it needs safety, peace and a lot of energy in order to fulfil this change. Our life’s are anything but safe and peaceful and our energy certainly is not spent on us what with the expectations we have from others and on our Selves and that small matter of earning money in order to survive!

In the PeriMenopausal phase the hormones are shifting. There is a new version of you being born. And it is going to take a lot of energy for you to experience this shift and invite this new version of your Self in to being. We have forgotten that change is constant in the life cycle of the woman and so fear it when it comes particularly if you are experiencing things you haven’t before. New territory is scary.  We attach so much to our perception of our Selves and our experiences that it is this that is hardest to shift or let go of more than anything. We try to control it with medications/supplements etc when truly we are only delaying it. Nature will always prevail and eventually it will happen but maybe it will feel different depending on what you have done.

Ultimately it is your choice whether you face what is happening in the knowing that the symptoms (which are hugely varied and variable in each individual much like menstrual symptoms) are created by you and your life and see what you’re made of or do you try and change your experience by “treating” the symptoms. Will you stop and take stock of your Self and your life by listening to these cries of the body or will you run and hide staving off the inevitable? Which is simply change. It is always your choice as either way energy and time will be spent if not lots of money depending on where you are in the world and how “free” your medical services are. It just depends where you want to spend it all. What you would prefer the focus to be on. Staying the same or changing? Are you excited or scared for the change? Do you trust the body that has lived with you this whole time and is only able to tell you the truth? Or do you fear what the body is telling/showing you and guiding you to change? If you have no trust in your body and are fearful of what you are experiencing and the change that will occur then that is a good place to start and I can hold you here. It may or may not change your symptoms. But that is never point. The point is to change how you perceive them. And accept them as your very own with lots of love.

We seem to have allowed a very skewed view on what it means to change and so we think we can observe change without having to do any of the work. We want to change our experience/symptoms without changing ourselves. We think a pill will do the trick when this may never be the case.

It starts and ends with you and safety first always!

Sarah Parker